Hmm it has been 12 days since I last updated. Well lets start off by saying "Happy screw up your calendar Day." To bad no one was able to devise a calendar that didn't suck and needed to be fixed every fourth year.
OK, lets get down to the gritty.
So I still have not heard anything back from The Christie Lodge so make that par for the course. I think I am a knowledgeable person that has many skills developed in various fields throughout my career and I feel I could bring a lot of experience, hard work, and contribution to any job I would work at. Unfortunately I do not seem to be able to make that come across on resume or an interview. I do not remember job hunting to be so difficult 7 years ago when I used to do it all the time. In fact in 1997 or 98 I had 6 W2's in the course of a year. Moving jobs was easy and I was able to pick and choose knowing that any interview I walked into I would be offered the job.
So I have reached the last day of February. This is my self-proclaimed cut-off point for finding work in the valley. I am tired of doing shit work and finding all availability to be shit pay. I leave the valley to the Mexicans that are willing to be the wait staff that this valley has jobs for. If you want to do more than cater to those in power with the money and fight over the scraps you have to come into this valley wielding that power. You will never crawl you way out of the muck by living here.
And yes, I know the old saying; "If you convince yourself of that you will only make it true." Well I gave this place 8 months of not believing that. I fought hard and have applied for different work every chance I could get. In 9 months I must have put out about 30 job applications. I got exactly 4 interviews out of that. Of those 4 one job hired me. The Marriott. So I feel I have given it a shot, I feel I have tried and tired hard. I now hang my head in defeat and know that this valley has bested me.
So I take this time now to announce my retirement. Or at least my retirement from the job of finding work in the valley. The Monster account I have kept open this last year will be updated this coming week and I will start responding to the 4 jobs a week it sends to me about networking work in Denver. I will try and find a salary job that pays what I want it to with the intention of moving from the valley to Denver as early as April 1st.
Now this is going to be the scariest moment of my life. For the first time I will be moving someplace that I have absolutely no friends, family, or contacts in. I will truly be closing my eyes and diving head first into the water. I just hope it is not very shallow. But as I have said to people before, I want to make something of myself in this world and making 25,000 a year will only lead to my sliding into a meaningless existence. I need to make enough money that I can feel secure in my life enough to expand beyond my career. I have tried my hand in the valley at writing, at game design, and at starting my own business. Each one of these I feel has been hamstrung because I am still worried about how my job defines my life.
The thing I will miss the most in living the valley is that my biggest creative inspiration is Justin. It was his love of art that inspired me to draw in high school. It was his love of gaming that got me into Rifts, D&D, and development of our own game. It was his love of writing that made me say to myself that I do that to. If and when I move to Denver I will be stepping out from under that shadow. I of course will keep in contact, that is what the Internet is for, but it will be a 2 hour distance to be able to see the ideas and sketches that we show each other to help spur each other to various new ideas.
Yes I plan on still developing D61, I will just have to find new guinea pigs to share the idea with and to get them excited about playing in a new world that is constantly under redevelopment. It is a challenge I look forward to.
On a sadder note my younger sister broke up with her boyfriend recently. They had been dating for 5 years. She is younger than me by 4 years and this is the guy she met right out of high school and moved to the cities with. They were not engaged but reached that "promised" stage. Not that I know what that means but I am a guy with my longest relationship lasting 6 months. I knew she cared for him greatly and it hurt her breaking up with a relationship that had become a life for her. I guess the closest I can relate to it is my 5 year relationship with my former job CP Internet. I am glad that my sister was able to talk to me about it even if it was via e-mail. We chatted briefly about it and I was the first family member she talked to.
Her break up makes me look at my own love life. I know I have talked about it before on these boards. And yeah, I realize I am too introspective to make meeting girls easy. Do I miss having girls in my life? Well yeah, I am male. But even more than the presence of a female I miss the comradeship of a relationship. I miss the hanging out together and doing stuff as a couple thing. I have only had that experience in two very rare, very long ago relationships because it takes a familiarity that only comes through time. And my relationships never last that long.
Then you get to the way my parents see my love life. I have had them on a couple of occasions ask me if I am ever going to settle down. I have also had them tell me if I ever wanted to buy a house that they would be able to help me with planning and finances. It is because my parents want grandchildren. Although I know I am a ways from having kids yet and my sister just got a lot further I still feel that pressure.
My friends one by one are married and now are all hitting those kids’ years. I am being left behind as the single bachelor friend. A family and children really mean that your options in this world have just been slammed shut on you. Sure there are always more options but the horizon just got a lot narrower. Now instead of the untracked wilderness before you have to take a road. Even if that road is a track off the beaten path it is still defined by those you care about and have to support.
OK, lets get down to the gritty.
So I still have not heard anything back from The Christie Lodge so make that par for the course. I think I am a knowledgeable person that has many skills developed in various fields throughout my career and I feel I could bring a lot of experience, hard work, and contribution to any job I would work at. Unfortunately I do not seem to be able to make that come across on resume or an interview. I do not remember job hunting to be so difficult 7 years ago when I used to do it all the time. In fact in 1997 or 98 I had 6 W2's in the course of a year. Moving jobs was easy and I was able to pick and choose knowing that any interview I walked into I would be offered the job.
So I have reached the last day of February. This is my self-proclaimed cut-off point for finding work in the valley. I am tired of doing shit work and finding all availability to be shit pay. I leave the valley to the Mexicans that are willing to be the wait staff that this valley has jobs for. If you want to do more than cater to those in power with the money and fight over the scraps you have to come into this valley wielding that power. You will never crawl you way out of the muck by living here.
And yes, I know the old saying; "If you convince yourself of that you will only make it true." Well I gave this place 8 months of not believing that. I fought hard and have applied for different work every chance I could get. In 9 months I must have put out about 30 job applications. I got exactly 4 interviews out of that. Of those 4 one job hired me. The Marriott. So I feel I have given it a shot, I feel I have tried and tired hard. I now hang my head in defeat and know that this valley has bested me.
So I take this time now to announce my retirement. Or at least my retirement from the job of finding work in the valley. The Monster account I have kept open this last year will be updated this coming week and I will start responding to the 4 jobs a week it sends to me about networking work in Denver. I will try and find a salary job that pays what I want it to with the intention of moving from the valley to Denver as early as April 1st.
Now this is going to be the scariest moment of my life. For the first time I will be moving someplace that I have absolutely no friends, family, or contacts in. I will truly be closing my eyes and diving head first into the water. I just hope it is not very shallow. But as I have said to people before, I want to make something of myself in this world and making 25,000 a year will only lead to my sliding into a meaningless existence. I need to make enough money that I can feel secure in my life enough to expand beyond my career. I have tried my hand in the valley at writing, at game design, and at starting my own business. Each one of these I feel has been hamstrung because I am still worried about how my job defines my life.
The thing I will miss the most in living the valley is that my biggest creative inspiration is Justin. It was his love of art that inspired me to draw in high school. It was his love of gaming that got me into Rifts, D&D, and development of our own game. It was his love of writing that made me say to myself that I do that to. If and when I move to Denver I will be stepping out from under that shadow. I of course will keep in contact, that is what the Internet is for, but it will be a 2 hour distance to be able to see the ideas and sketches that we show each other to help spur each other to various new ideas.
Yes I plan on still developing D61, I will just have to find new guinea pigs to share the idea with and to get them excited about playing in a new world that is constantly under redevelopment. It is a challenge I look forward to.
On a sadder note my younger sister broke up with her boyfriend recently. They had been dating for 5 years. She is younger than me by 4 years and this is the guy she met right out of high school and moved to the cities with. They were not engaged but reached that "promised" stage. Not that I know what that means but I am a guy with my longest relationship lasting 6 months. I knew she cared for him greatly and it hurt her breaking up with a relationship that had become a life for her. I guess the closest I can relate to it is my 5 year relationship with my former job CP Internet. I am glad that my sister was able to talk to me about it even if it was via e-mail. We chatted briefly about it and I was the first family member she talked to.
Her break up makes me look at my own love life. I know I have talked about it before on these boards. And yeah, I realize I am too introspective to make meeting girls easy. Do I miss having girls in my life? Well yeah, I am male. But even more than the presence of a female I miss the comradeship of a relationship. I miss the hanging out together and doing stuff as a couple thing. I have only had that experience in two very rare, very long ago relationships because it takes a familiarity that only comes through time. And my relationships never last that long.
Then you get to the way my parents see my love life. I have had them on a couple of occasions ask me if I am ever going to settle down. I have also had them tell me if I ever wanted to buy a house that they would be able to help me with planning and finances. It is because my parents want grandchildren. Although I know I am a ways from having kids yet and my sister just got a lot further I still feel that pressure.
My friends one by one are married and now are all hitting those kids’ years. I am being left behind as the single bachelor friend. A family and children really mean that your options in this world have just been slammed shut on you. Sure there are always more options but the horizon just got a lot narrower. Now instead of the untracked wilderness before you have to take a road. Even if that road is a track off the beaten path it is still defined by those you care about and have to support.