I brought my MINI to the shop to be worked on. I have been told it should be done by next Friday the 8th. I plan on having a bit of added work done to it, basically fixing the keying in my trunk at the same time so hopefully that will all be done at the same time and that date won't change.
So I got a rental Malibu car for two weeks.
I miss my MINI already. This car is a 2006 model. I think my mom drive a 2004 or 2005 Malibu. I hate this car. When you turn or swerve you can feel the top heavy car roll from side to side. And the steering is so sloppy. It is like I am driving on a big pile of pillows. When you try and get your vehicle to do something it happens 1/2 a second later and half-heartedly. I can't wait to get my sports car back.
I spent some time trying to re-center myself today. Left work 1/2 an hour early and took the rental off-roading up into the mountains heading towards Piney Lake. There is a trail up there that allows you to drive around the crown of the mountain in on one side you are looking at the most beautiful backdrop of mountains and 5 minutes away you are looking down at Vail Mountain.
To get there is a real bitch though. I am so glad I had the rental to bottom it out a couple of times. The MINI is so low to the ground that she would have never made it. So the rental is all muddy and abused now.
So what did I learn in my mountain exodus to try and analyze my thoughts?
I know that I can change the way I feel about a person if I want to. I have before and I could again. It is all a matter of perspective on how I view a person. I can consciously decide if I want to view the good qualities or bad qualities of a person.
Everyone I know has both good and bad traits about them. Typically when I think about a person I think about the last encounter I had with them. Was that encounter good or bad? A good encounter will make you think of good qualities about that person (nice smile, bought me that beer, called me a friend) while a bad encounter will play the opposite (horrible haircut, ignored me when I walked in, made that crude remark about my mother). It is these collections of "good times" and "bad times" that allow you to focus on how you feel about a person.
By the way, I am making these good and bad traits up. All characters are wholly fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is just a coincidence.
My value of a person is a collection of do I see more good things or more bad things in them. Even though I will sometimes get analytical about my personal views and feelings I know there is some randomness tossed into this mix. Sometimes you just really like a person in a method you just can not break down and sometimes you just get rubbed the wrong way by a person.
But even still I thought back on my history and thought back on how I have dealt with problems. I have been able to change the way I feel about a person by exploring these feelings. By weighing out memories and consciously choosing what values to remember or forget I have been able to decide if I like someone or not. I have done it before on multiple occasions and I can point to specific times in my life where I flipped a completely different direction on how I felt about someone.
One of my friends and forum posters talked about how I started posting a lot more on my blog lately. Talking about "drama" and having these really long posts. Rachel has changed my personality over the last week. I really like this girl and made her feel awkward. Things I would not do before I find myself doing even without conscious thought. Increased blog posts are just one metric by which you can measure that.
This is why I have the post above of needing to re-center myself. I'm acting out of character and I needed to ask myself, why? And I am pretty sure I know why, how do I stop or moderate that change?
So finally the big question, did I find my center again? I don't know yet. The one descision I came out of it with is that I don't want to change how I feel about this girl. Instead of changing how I think about her, I need to change how I react to my own feelings.
My thoughts are pretty tore up right now. Like breaking a bone to re-set it, I have to see how I heal now to see the final product.
So I got a rental Malibu car for two weeks.
I miss my MINI already. This car is a 2006 model. I think my mom drive a 2004 or 2005 Malibu. I hate this car. When you turn or swerve you can feel the top heavy car roll from side to side. And the steering is so sloppy. It is like I am driving on a big pile of pillows. When you try and get your vehicle to do something it happens 1/2 a second later and half-heartedly. I can't wait to get my sports car back.
I spent some time trying to re-center myself today. Left work 1/2 an hour early and took the rental off-roading up into the mountains heading towards Piney Lake. There is a trail up there that allows you to drive around the crown of the mountain in on one side you are looking at the most beautiful backdrop of mountains and 5 minutes away you are looking down at Vail Mountain.
To get there is a real bitch though. I am so glad I had the rental to bottom it out a couple of times. The MINI is so low to the ground that she would have never made it. So the rental is all muddy and abused now.
So what did I learn in my mountain exodus to try and analyze my thoughts?
I know that I can change the way I feel about a person if I want to. I have before and I could again. It is all a matter of perspective on how I view a person. I can consciously decide if I want to view the good qualities or bad qualities of a person.
Everyone I know has both good and bad traits about them. Typically when I think about a person I think about the last encounter I had with them. Was that encounter good or bad? A good encounter will make you think of good qualities about that person (nice smile, bought me that beer, called me a friend) while a bad encounter will play the opposite (horrible haircut, ignored me when I walked in, made that crude remark about my mother). It is these collections of "good times" and "bad times" that allow you to focus on how you feel about a person.
By the way, I am making these good and bad traits up. All characters are wholly fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is just a coincidence.
My value of a person is a collection of do I see more good things or more bad things in them. Even though I will sometimes get analytical about my personal views and feelings I know there is some randomness tossed into this mix. Sometimes you just really like a person in a method you just can not break down and sometimes you just get rubbed the wrong way by a person.
But even still I thought back on my history and thought back on how I have dealt with problems. I have been able to change the way I feel about a person by exploring these feelings. By weighing out memories and consciously choosing what values to remember or forget I have been able to decide if I like someone or not. I have done it before on multiple occasions and I can point to specific times in my life where I flipped a completely different direction on how I felt about someone.
One of my friends and forum posters talked about how I started posting a lot more on my blog lately. Talking about "drama" and having these really long posts. Rachel has changed my personality over the last week. I really like this girl and made her feel awkward. Things I would not do before I find myself doing even without conscious thought. Increased blog posts are just one metric by which you can measure that.
This is why I have the post above of needing to re-center myself. I'm acting out of character and I needed to ask myself, why? And I am pretty sure I know why, how do I stop or moderate that change?
So finally the big question, did I find my center again? I don't know yet. The one descision I came out of it with is that I don't want to change how I feel about this girl. Instead of changing how I think about her, I need to change how I react to my own feelings.
My thoughts are pretty tore up right now. Like breaking a bone to re-set it, I have to see how I heal now to see the final product.
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