I may be getting old, but I still miss my Mom at times
Trivia saps a lot of energy out of me. By the end of the night it is a chore just to stay conscious. I need more energetic people there to surround myself with. Typically it is Watcher and I who are motivating everyone to be happy and that is a tough job at times.
Last night I had a nightmare. This is strange as I typically don't have nightmares as I have found that I can control my world when I dream. It comes from practice.
Anyways this dream was strange in the fact that I am 30 years old and the last part of my dream before I woke up is me wanting my Mom. Actually it is not strange when I would reach out to my Mom for help because of the subject of the nightmare.
In it for some reason I had some type of tooth disease and all my teeth where falling out. I could feel them wiggle with my tongue and like when you have a loose tooth you just can't help yourself from constantly messing with it and eventually pushing on it so much that it comes out.
Then comes that sickly sweet release of the pressure that tooth was causing and the coolness of air as your raw nerve is exposed to an environment it was never meant to be a part of. Then you touch that raw nerve for the first time and it shoots pain down your jaw and in to your neck. Shuddering with the feel of it your tongue jerks away. Then a few seconds later you touch that sore spot again. Again the electric shock of being alive suffuses your body.
In my dream this was the good part. I love that feeling a pain I can control and master. It is this feeling of being alive that makes me wake up every morning and not slit my wrists.
But then my dream turned to nightmare. I then felt a second tooth loosen. I told myself I mustn’t play with it. Losing one tooth is ok; losing two teeth will be disfiguring and a real issue to fix. But I couldn't stop. I needed to wiggle that tooth. It hurt and when I pushed on it the pain sharpened but it was a pain I could deal with. A sharp jolt is much more preferable then a slow agonizing pain you can not get away from.
Soon that tooth also broke free. Now I had a large gap in my mouth. And those bare nerves that once were a novelty became a constant ache. Then my gums started to bleed. At first I would just suck the blood and taste the coppery salvia slip down my throat but I was aware that eventually drinking enough blood will make you sick. (I know this from experience because I get real bad bloody noses during the dry season and have made myself sick drinking my own blood.)
Then a third tooth just fell out. No wiggling, no preemptive pain, it just dropped on to my tongue. At this point I was in the bathroom and letting the blood drain into the sink. I couldn't spit because of the exposed raw nerves so all I could do is open my mouth and drool. Behind that third tooth came a lot of blood. Now the taste was flooding my mouth and the smell began to fill my nose.
I finally dropped the three teeth in my mouth into the sink. The first two were healthy teeth like baby teeth you would naturally lose. But that third was black and rotted and broke in two when it hit the porcelain. I quickly scoop up the two teeth before I lost them to the drain and was only able to grab half of the rotted tooth only to see the second half become lost down the drain.
Without warning a fourth and fifth tooth dropped out with a corresponding rush of blood behind them. I quickly closed my mouth to keep from losing the loose teeth in the sink. The pain was so great I gurgled in pain as my mouthful of blood poured into the sink and the teeth dropped out. I scrambled to catch the teeth and protect them so I could get them replanted.
At this point I was scared, really scared and tears begin to flood my eyes. I tried to fill a nearby cup with water but it was so hard to see. I think I lost one of the teeth to the running water but I got the rest of the teeth into the cup. I could feel more teeth now swishing in my mouth. I had the sense that they were all rotting and falling out.
I tried to close my mouth without touching my jaws together. My mouth quickly filled with blood and floating teeth. I could feel every painful moment that they would touch a nerve and it all I could do to continue to breath through my nose and not choke or swallow.
My Mom was in the other room. I knew she could help. I quickly ran through the house with the feeling of bile rising in my throat threatening to make me either choke on a mouthful of blood and teeth or vomit my only hope of restoring my facial features.
After running through many rooms I saw her in a crowded room. There were people everywhere packed shoulder-to-shoulder and talking loudly. I could not shout out with my mouth barely holding closed and I could not push through the crowd for fear of either losing the mouthful of teeth or the pain that would happen if one was to jostle me in the jaw.
I finally broke down at this point and just started moaning and crying for my Mom. The room turned into a blur of shapes as I just gave up all hope and sunk into despair.
It was then one of the people on the side of the crowd noticed me and my distress. They quickly rushed my Mom over to me and she took me to the kitchen. She plugged the drain and had me empty the contents of my mouth in to the sink. All of my teeth had rotted and nothing but brown broken chunks intermingled with the mixture of salvia and blood that had filled my mouth.
My Mom in a panicked voice said some medical term I could not remember but knew it meant I had a rotting mouth disease.
It was at this point I woke up with a gasp at 4 AM this morning and had tears in my eyes.
The first thing I did was make sure all my teeth were back in mouth. The second thing was to think I have not wanted my Mom in probably twenty years like that. And during that nightmare the whole reason I wanted my Mom is because at age 50 she just graduated from dental school after attending for five years to become a Dental Hygienist. Not only am I proud of my Mom but I know she can save me again.
By the way, my teeth are perfectly healthy. I helped my Mom's class as one of the final medical boards patients this last summer. So not only have I not had a cavity since I was 12 I have recently had my teeth cleaned and polished.