Vail Life

Minus Nine

Not quite as cold as home but definitely close enough to make you remember.

Posted by Coign at 7:55 AM | Permalink | Comments

Yeah, I am good.

Not good as in I can do no wrong, although I do seem to roll a lot of twenties in life, but in good as in I feel good. I went out riding for two hours in Vail on Saturday and again with HC and SP on Sunday at Beaver Creek. It was all good but I am definitely sore today.

I really worked on getting my carving tighter and more controlled. I am also trying to tip myself over and recover to help improve my balance. That also meant I fell a lot on a very hard, very icy slope. Because I was with HC and SP we were riding groomers so that SP can learn to ride. For someone who, for all practical purposes, just got on a snowboard two weeks ago, SP is an awesome rider. She was telling me how she is uncoordinated and how horrible at sports she is; don't believe her, she lies.

I am glad to see SP improve so quickly because that means when she is good enough, we can take her into the out-of-bounds trees where the true magic of snowboarding happens.

Posted by Coign at 11:41 AM | Permalink | Comments

The holiday season approaches

This is the worst time of the year for me. When thinking about things to be thankful for I am reminded again of how much stuff I have missed out on.

I have owned my own place for one year now. My "brand-new-when-I-bought-it" one-year-old car got its first oil change. My debt has stayed about the same since last Christmas. I fear what this Christmas may do to me finances but I will survive. I have met new friends and said goodbye to others. I got my snowboard back from the tune shop and put on my bindings. I have gotten a small pay raise this year and as far as I know, my co-workers are grateful for the work I do and I try hard to make sure everyone is happy with my performance.

All said and done I have a good life and many people would be happy to be in my situation. I am happy. I am proud of the accomplishments I have made and I try to always remind myself of that when feeling out-of-sorts.

But I am happiest in moments when I am around someone that wants to be in my company. It is those moments that I want to last forever. I want someone to accept me as I am and to love me for just being me. As good as my life gets, I miss those times.

Posted by Coign at 1:35 AM | Permalink | Comments

Pack it all up and leave. I have done it a few times in the past. Sometimes that seems like a good idea.

I love the mountains and the views and slopes around me, but the lack of geek culture sometimes brings me down. We are so rare that it takes a large population to get us to gather in any sort of number.

I meet "normal" people and they describe to me how they are all messed up and lost. They don't know what they want to do and they don't know what direction they want to go in life. Because they need to "find themselves" they do not have time to get involved with others. They are taking a month off, or a year off, or an in-determined break from all relationships.

Let me tell you a little secret. I have been messed up for 30 years. You are deluding yourself if you think it is ever going to get better or that you are going to find yourself. You don't exist. None of us do. I have told more then one person, you are a different person depending on who you are around. You just don't act different you become different. It happens to everyone I know and it happens to me.

Who you ARE changes by who you are around and what environment surrounds you. And if you are changing day-by-day and person-by-person there is no "self" to find. It is like trying to grab mercury. It will be forever in motion and will never look the same twice.

Posted by Coign at 9:28 AM | Permalink | Comments

Why do you spend so much time playing D&D and all these fantasy games?

Easy. In fantasy, happy endings sometimes happen. In real life, not so much.

Posted by Coign at 7:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

37?

About once a week or so I check out my friends' blogs. Watcher typically updates his once every week or two, HardCore about once a month, and IdFungus goes off on his about every six months or so. I try to post once a week, sometimes more, usually a little less.

So I check out ShamanPrincess' site. In the first seven days of November she has 62 entries.

SIXTY-TWO! My friend blogged about 62 dicks!

Hey ShamanPrincess, try not to blog about any dick on the way through the parking lot!

(For those of you not familiar with the movie Clerks it is a quote from that movie. I am going for funny, not mean here.)


Clerks quotes

Posted by Coign at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments

Loss for Words

I have wanted to write here for awhile but I really couldn't. That which is interesting in my life I can't talk about and everything outside of that is really kind of boring.

So I will go over what I can talk about without to much personal detail.

Work is really busy. End of year capital expenditures are flying back and forth faster then I can keep track of.

I got my FTP server up and running and I am proud of the fact that I even got the FTP access locked down in the firewall. I have a new firewall sitting on my desk and hopefully I will get that up and running this week.

My A/C project quote came in today and where I was expecting a 50K price tag I was given a 110K price quote. So now I am back to square one as I get ready to call a new contractor tomorrow.

My disk storage project is still currently green lighted but it is so confusing trying to juggle all these technologies and keep everything balanced. It is a lot to think about and I have two more conferences I need to attend for it and deadlines are fast approaching.

Speaking of deadlines, that just reminded me I need to get a price list for hardware for next year's capital budget to hand out to management for new hires, replacements, and upgrades.

Out side of work...

Trivia night is coming to an end. I just can't stomach it anymore and I would rather sit at home by myself then go there and be pissed off. I will talk to Watcher to see if we can come up with a new activity but for right now my Tuesday nights are free.

I have been hanging out with ShamanPrincess and HardCore lately. I try not to think too much about them as they are a confusing pair. Basically I have come to the understanding that neither of them want any type of serious relationship and I am just along for the ride with them right now. That is fine as I enjoy my time with them. Any speed bumps, detours, or rough patches in our relationship will be worked out when they happen. I am slowly learning to live in the moment.

I need to order my new Stikfas soon as I have an idea for a comic with HardCore and I would like to get her own figure for it. I will see if I can get the new model before I go into any more detail then that. Unfortunately for anyone who may read this and wonder, it will most likely be a couple of weeks before the package would be delivered to me if I ordered it today.

Well I better get back to work. Hopefully I will be able to write more soon.

Posted by Coign at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well my last three weeks of feeling nothing have come to an end. And it was done so in a strange unexpected sort of way.

The only thing I am really comfortable relating is that last night on All Hallows Eve (A proper Irish Holiday just as fun as St. Patty's Day) was exciting, fun, caught me off guard, and left me with a lot of strings on my life. All-in-all a most excellent adventure and one I would love to do again, all turns, flips, and 180 spins that it put me through.

But in the end it definitely changed the way some of the pieces in my life fit together. I don't think anyone was hurt to deeply by it, but now that all the blocks have been shaken we just have to see where they fall.

To my great shame, I am not as good a person as some people sometimes think I am. I am constantly looking to find the person that is as happy with me as I am with them. Because of this single minded quest I can sometimes bull through other peoples feelings without meaning to and hurt some of those I care about most.

The sad thing is that I know that my tromping through the wilderness to find that perfect patch of serenity will leave a trail broken twigs and over-turned stones. It is my belief and hubris that I expect nature will heal herself and still welcome my civilized unknowing exploration through her. My greatest worry is that in getting to my perfect glade I may destroy the beauty that gave it life.

So wrapping up my strange analogies of meaningless gibbering, I will state this, "I have been given a lot of what was missing for the last few weeks in my life back. And that missing object is hope."

Posted by Coign at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments